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Patdidn't contest it, and returned the papers signed, and soon, it wasover. She found a flatmate, a woman about her age, and went throughthree jobs in two months before finding a position as a partsdepartment clerk at an automobile dealership.Gradually, her world changed. She thought less about her height, becameaccustomed to looking up to most people, and; when she had to reach forsomething, she simply went for a chair. Men chatted her up, and a monthafter the divorce she accepted her first date. She made new friends andlooked up some of her old Everton mates.When the football season opened, she and thirty thousand other Toffees,mostly women, filed into Goodison Park for the opener against BlackburnRovers. For the first time in its long history, songs with a distinctlyfeminine flavor filled the air, and when Tracy Cahill, the Aussiemidfielder, scored the first Everton goal and went into the samefamiliar dance at the corner flag, snapping punches at it with herfists, the stadium. Where are your tears?”“I can’t cry,” I said, looking down. “I shut all that off back in eighth grade. Once I didn’t cry, they stopped teasing me. I got really good at not crying. I got even better at not feeling anything.”Sheila’s eyes were overflowing with her own tears as she pulled me close to her and hugged me very tightly. “My mother’s a psychiatrist,” she said softly. “I don’t think you’d be comfortable talking to her, but she can recommend someone who specializes in working with teen sexual problems.”Sheila’s mom insisted on speaking with my parents. Dad and mom both worked but I had two brothers and a sister so finances were tight. Mrs. Madison got one of her colleagues to do the therapy pro-bono. After several sessions it became apparent that I had bottled up all of my emotions– good or bad– and had to learn how to release them. We did trust-building, safe-zone creation, safe body touching, and all sorts of other approaches that are supposed to help someone open up, but.
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